


The Introspective of the Exarch

by ElyseEstheim



Series: The Diary of the Exarch [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: 5.0 headcanon, 5.0 spoilers, 5.1 theories, Bard WoL, F/M, I have yet to see anyone with this same headcanon as far as the minion is concerned, Let me know if you use it so I can read your take on it, Miqo’te WoL, Shadowbringers Spoilers, female WoL, no reference in this one to bard life tho, sequel to Retrospective of the Exarch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2020-10-12 04:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,802
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20557928
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElyseEstheim/pseuds/ElyseEstheim
Summary: In which the Crystal Exarch continues his intensely personal documentation of his experiences with the Warrior of Light. Herein lies an account of the days immediately following the fall of Emet-Selch.





	The Introspective of the Exarch

The Introspective of the Exarch

_It has been several nights since I last wrote in this journal, dear readers, but know that these past nights have not been spent idle. Now is the first chance I have had to sit and compile all the notes I have taken since the fall of Emet-Selch, and much has taken place. I will do my very best to recount in as much detail as possible on matters personal and professional, so as to offer you the most accurate account of these days following the final return of Night. There was much discussion in these days I could not well relate without transcribing exactly what was said, as if this was a work of fiction. I will endeavor to record exactly as words were spoken at their inception. _

_I do hope you enjoy reading this next entry, my friends in the future. I must warn you, however, that not all which follows is of a pleasant nature. Most... but not all._

#######

She returned to the Source for a few days, and I resolved to divide my time between the Crystarium archives and the cluttered mess that was the Umbilicus in my quest to discover the means to return the Scions to their bodies, and perhaps find the way to travel back and forth across the Rift myself. It was terribly lonely, being without her, but each time I felt the sting of solitude descend, I replayed the moment I initially sent her back to our home. 

Just as she disappeared through the portal in the Ocular, I had thought to test its pliancy with my hand, only to discover my theory was correct — the way through, at the present, was closed to me. I smiled wistfully after her, seeking instead the silver lining to it all, and resigned myself to my research in the meantime. But as I went to draw back my hand, something - some_one_ \- took hold of my wrist. In shock, I turned round to find a familiar hand holding fast to my crystal appendage, followed closely by the rest of my dear friend, looking quite frenzied. Feeling likewise, I asked if the spell had gone so wrong as to effect such an expedient return, and she shook her head slowly, momentarily avoiding my gaze. I tilted my head as I considered her harrowed appearance; her hair was windblown, shoulders tense, her tail whipping behind her as if she was _nervous_. Which was silly, as she was never nervous. Anxious or worried, perhaps, but nerves? They never got the better of her. And yet... here she was, eyes flitting side to side, looking everywhere but at me, it seemed. 

“Is aught amiss, my friend?” I inquired gently, twisting my hand in her grasp so as to take hers and squeeze it in support. “Has something happened?”

Her eyes closed for a moment as she shook her head again and raised a resolute gaze to meet mine. “All is well, my dear, old friend,” she assured me, squeezing my hand in return. “I just...” I encouraged her to continue with a brief incline of my head, and so she did. “You yet slumber in the Tower back home, correct?”

“You have the right of it,” I confirmed, curious as to where this line of inquiry might be headed. 

“Do... do you recall ever needing anything while you were in there? If there is any way I can bring anything to you, I should like to.”

My eyes went wide as her cheeks went pink, and I smiled warmly at her, taking her other hand along with that I already held. “Oh, my sweet friend. Even if I had, I could not ask any more of you than you have already given.”

“But you are _alone_ in there, G’raha, and I cannot bear to think how lonely it must be. There must be something I can do for you!” She was uncharacteristically distraught... one would assume I was in some sort of danger of which I was unaware in the Tower as I slept, and if I recall correctly, that was very much not the case.

“Your concern is more than I could ask for,” I assured her, and her gaze dropped in frustration. 

“...All right then, but if you think of something, pray tell me immediately,” she implored, grasping my hands tightly in front of her chest. “I would not want undue hardship to befall you if there is aught I can do to assuage it.”

“You have done enough and more, my dear inspiration.” My voice dropped an ilm and I abruptly realized we were far closer than we had been moments ago. “It is well past time you paid mind to your own desires for once.”

Our eyes locked and some force I do not care to explain drew us closer, despite the proximity we already shared, and my gaze fell to her mouth for only a moment. Her lips were parted ever so slightly and I had an irresistible urge to meet them with mine own. She seemed of like mind and in wordless agreement, I leaned down and she up until our breath intermingled-

When a sharp rap at the doors broke the spell and we sprang apart, though only just, to a bare minimum distance appropriate for nothing more than friends. “My lord? Do you have a moment?”

Lyna. I could not imagine what might require my attention at that exact moment. In fact, I could imagine nothing else save what it would have been like were we not interrupted. I blinked several times before my wits returned to me enough to respond. “My apologies, Captain, but I am rather in the middle of something. Might I meet you outside momentarily?”

“Of course, my lord,” Lyna answered without hesitation, as this was not particularly out of character for me to request. “I would await your presence in the courtyard, if it please you.”

“I shall endeavor not to keep you waiting overlong,” I told her, and listened until the clanking of her armor was at the edge of my range of hearing. Turning back to my friend with a grin and a shake of my head, I shrugged in resignation. “I see my usual luck holds fast,” I chuckled, and she was quick to join. 

“I believe my favorite example of your _good fortune_ was shortly after we met,” she mentioned airily, a mischievous edge to the statement. I was unable to keep the smallest smirk at bay as I met her eyes with mock suspicion.

“Oh? Do tell.” 

“Do you recall what happened after you finished setting up your tent when we first broke camp at the Find?” I quirked my brow as I thought back to those days, and there was something just at the edge of my memory I couldn’t quite grasp. 

“...Remind me?”

She laughed brightly as she recounted the moment I climbed into my newly raised tent, my arms loaded with no less than ten tomes, and the thing quite promptly collapsed on me. “Poor Rammbroes had a fit! _‘G’raha Tia, you useless child! As learned as you are, you failed to properly pitch your field lodgings?’_” Despite the difference in vocal timbre, her impersonation was quite good. “Oh, you were _so_ put out when we finally got you untangled.” She was near doubled over in laughter now, and I shook my head with a measure of pity towards my younger self in my smile.

“Ah, yes. One of my finer moments, to be sure. I also believe that was the first time I ever heard you laugh.”

“Given your propensity for minor disaster, it was far from the last.”

“Ha, ha.” Our laughter melted into a pregnant silence, and I was unsure what to say at that point, other than _stay_. That was the one selfish thing I would never ask of her. _I_ would be the one to shift for _her,_ and there would be no other option. “My friend, I-“

“Yes?”

She was edging closer to me once more, but I had lost my courage and the moment was gone. For now, anyway. I made a mental note to ensure we were not disturbed in the next one. Shaking my head with a smile, I took her hands once more. “Never you mind; it is less important than your safe journey to the Source.”

She seemed unconvinced, but blessedly did not press. She always was rather talented with discerning another’s emotional state by simple observation. “If you’re sure...”

“I am. Now go, see your comrades back home. I will be waiting here for your safe return.”

“I won’t be long,” she declared, her expression akin to that she wears before battle. “I promise you. And I’ll be sure to bring something for you when I come back.”

“The gift of your presence is all I ask,” I said plainly, and she wrapped her arms around me all at once in a warm embrace, which I instantly returned.

“I will still bring something for you,” she insisted into my shoulder, and I turned my face towards hers, only slightly given the already dangerously close proximity. 

“I shall look forward to it, then,” I murmured into her hair, resisting every urge to kiss her brow as it rested against my chin. 

And then, she pulled away just enough to plant her lips at the corner of my mouth before bounding away through the portal again with an energetic farewell before I could even react. 

I am honestly not sure how long I stood there in shock, my fingers hovering just over the warmth left by her kiss. I only know it was long enough for Lyna to come knocking again, wondering if I was all right.

#######

It was quite late into the evening and, as had become my routine in the last week, I was nose-deep in research. My friend had yet to return, and as much as I ached for her presence, there was work to be done. In my efforts to return the Scions to the Source, I had yet to find a way for myself to travel between worlds, but was beginning to make some headway as to their plight. Or, at least, I was if my theories were even close to the mark. It would require individualized beacons, a matching of locales, and synchronized cooperation from both here and the Source, which was proving troublesome given the unpredictable flow of time between them. The thrill of learning had taken hold even as her absence nagged at me. 

I was only somewhat concerned for her well-being as there was no doubt in her ability to take care of herself, but I still longed for her return. It was... distracting, to say the least. In momentary defeat, I put my quill and notepapers back on the side table and slouched down in my chair, stretching out as far as I could without sliding out of it. When comfortable enough, I remained inclined and allowed my head to loll back, eyes closed to rest them. 

“Proper slacking, I see?”

My eyes shot open first to see her mischief-laden smirk as she bent over me from her stance behind my chair. I am embarrassed to admit some unholy noise escaped me as I jumped from my seat, though her laughter was a welcome reward despite it being at my expense. “Wicked _white,_ you gave me a start,” I complained, albeit half-heartedly. 

“Yes, that was rather the intent,” she sang.

I circled round the chair towards her as she mimicked the motion in the opposite direction. “And here I thought _I_ was the prankster between us.”

“I’ve been practicing.” She seemed quite proud of herself, too.

“Apparently.” She laughed in her triumph and knelt on the floor next to my chair, beaming up at me. Rather than retake said chair, I opted to join her at the base of it as I retrieved a tome from the area at my feet, placing it atop the seat in my stead. “What news of the Source?”

“Tataru has managed to balance the Scions’ financials, for one thing. She was quite insistent I relay this news to Alphinaud with haste, accompanied by a thinly-veiled threat should he get ideas to purchase any other priceless katanas without so much as a raise of his brow.” She leaned her arms on the seat next to the tome, resting her chin atop her stacked hands. “Lyse and the General have made great strides in Ala Mhigo as well. The Au’ri tribes of the Steppe have opted to join in Tribunal meetings, though they maintain the Law of the Steppe is their prime directive and there is, as yet, no plan to _actually_ take part in the Ala Mhigan Collective. Regardless, the impending trade agreements will offer a great boon to both sides.” She shifted again, scooting along the crystal tiling until she was close enough for our shoulders to touch. “I also figured out what to bring back for you.”

“Oh?” I prompted, my back straightening with interest. “And what would that be?” She turned away from me to rummage around in her satchel, placed whatever it was on the floor out of my line of sight, and after a moment, turned back with a bright smile. 

“This!”

At once, a tiny figure trotted out from behind her and I was struck temporarily speechless. 

“Wh-what in the world is this?”

The figure, as it happened, was a mammet in my likeness; or, rather, the young version of me from the expedition with NOAH. I raised my brows in surprise when the thing seemed to clutch at its face in pain, much as I had done when the truth of my eye was just beyond the threshold of my memory. 

“Isn’t he adorable?” she asked sweetly. “Tataru gave him to me the moment I returned. By her report, it helped immensely with not only the search for the beacon you left me, but with her efforts to balance the ledger.” She scooped him up and held him before me atop her palms with something akin to pride in her eyes. “She sends her most emphatic gratitude in that regard.”

“A gift from Tataru, you say?” I repeated, perplexed. “A mammet inspired by a certain Archon, created to fund the expedition to the Syrcus Trench...” I brought a loose fist to my chin in wonder. “Passing strange... I never had the pleasure of meeting Tataru. That being the case, I can only assume the idea for the subject matter came from another.” A number of familiar faces flashed through my mind as I struggled to determine how someone I had never met had so expertly captured my young image, speaking their names aloud as I considered each. “Could it have been Master Galuf? Or Krile, perhaps?” Just then, an echo of rich bass chastising me yet again sounded in the recesses of my memory. “No, wait — Rammbroes! It _must_ be Rammbroes! Behind his somber countenance there hides a playful streak. I can fair see him grinning as he imagines how I would react should I stumble into this mammet some time in the future...”

“I can confirm your theory with reasonable certainty, given my brief conversation with him ere I returned here,” she laughed, her warm smile given equally to me and the... much smaller version of me.

A wave of nostalgia overtook me, along with some aching feeling I was unable to place, so I simply shrugged it off. “If truth be told, I know not how to feel when I behold it. But if nothing else, it tells me that they are well. Rammbroes and everyone. And for that I am glad.”

“I dare say you will be even happier when I tell you about his _special features_,” my dearest warrior added in a conspiratorial whisper.

“Does his teal eye change color as mine did?” I wagered in jest, and she pursed her lips inquisitively. 

“Oh, I didn’t even think of that! What a splendid idea...” The thought that she had been spending far too much time around blue-and-white-clad employees passed briefly through my mind. “But I’m afraid not. That said, you aren’t terribly far off.” At this, she picked up the mammet once more and held him out to me. “You can still attune to aetheryte crystals, can you not?” I nodded to confirm, though I did point out the uncertainty of my ability to _travel_ between them now that part of my body was of the selfsame material. “There shan’t be any need for to-and-fro in this case. I sought Cid’s assistance in this endeavor and I do think you will be as pleased as I am with the ingenuity of the Ironworks.” At this, she reached out to take my wrist and guided my hand towards the mammet. “Concentrate as if this tiny Magitek Miqo’te was your home aetheryte, and attune to it.”

“I- what?”

“Close your eyes and _focus_, G’raha,” she pressed, tugging at my wrist despite the lack of distance between my palm and the minion. “If all goes well, I will elaborate.”

It was a moment before my eyes left hers, bewildered as I was, but I leaned on my absolute trust in her and did as she asked. As my eyes slid shut, I focused power in my outstretched palm and, ere long, felt the familiar tug of aether pull at my core. I grasped onto it and bade it join with mine, when suddenly, the _idea_ of home felt very, very real. My jaw dropped with the realization that I knew this aether, better than anything else given my time in its proximity. My eyes opened as the flow of power subsided to my dear warrior, smiling brighter than the sun itself. “My friend, I... what has been done to this little one?”

The explanation tumbled from her all at once in her thrill. And when I say tumbled, I am in no way exaggerating. 

“Right, so I was trying to think of what to bring back for you but all I could think of was wanting to bring _you_ back with _me_, so I went to Rammbroes to inquire as to whether the Sons had any tomes which might help with that because you had said you wanted to accompany me on my adventures, you recall? Alas, he had naught on hand but did send his warmest regards in addition to the mammet. And then I ran into Biggs and Wedge on their way to do some investigating in the trench, because they have never stopped looking for a way to wake you, you see, and Cid was there as well and saw the mammet, and the look on my face was less than cheerful I suppose so he asked what was wrong and I told him of your wish and our adventures here on the First and how I wanted to bring you to visit everyone as you aren’t due to awaken for quite longer than any of them have to remain, myself included. And then dear Wedge says, ‘Well why not just fashion a cross-world linkpearl so he could call and say hello?’ And I sort of laughed as that seemed such a simple, yet impossible solution, but then Biggs, dear, sweet, _brilliant_ Biggs, says, ‘well, why _not?’_ And then Cid chimes in and says we should use a piece of the Crystal Tower as a focus given it is the strongest link not only between the First and the Source, but to you as well! And then we all went a bit overboard and added some technology similar to your scrying portal here courtesy of Krile’s input - who, by the way, sends her love and asked me to reprimand you for utterly neglecting an assignment she had given you before you arrived in Mor Dhona, but I digress-“

My head was fair spinning at the speed and length with which she explained, until she brought it all together with the most amazing gift I could have ever imagined. 

“Anyway, now that you’ve attuned to it, you should be able to use your portal to ‘see’ through this little one’s eyes, and the linkpearl we merged with the piece of Syrcus Tower and the mammet core will allow you to hear and speak _through it!”_

If my jaw had dropped before, it was fair on the floor now. She continued on explaining the wheres and wherefores behind the incredible gift she had brought with her, but I had only one thought at that moment, and I would no longer hesitate to act on it. In one swift movement, I took hold of her face to steady it and pressed my lips to hers - albeit awkwardly given she was mid-sentence - and poured every onze of my love and gratitude into the contact, my aether reaching out to embrace hers. I faintly registered that she did not immediately react, but ere long, she returned the gesture with enthusiasm. 

We stayed locked together for a long moment... or mayhap it was only seconds, but it seemed as if time stretched on as a means of apology for forcing us apart to begin with. She had placed her hands on my chest and grasped at the fabric there to anchor herself, and I moved my hands from her jaw to her back and pulled her in as much as I could, desperate for her to be ever closer. Every hair on my body was immediately at attention as she whisked the tip of her tongue against my bottom lip, and I was quick to comply with her request for entry. As our kiss deepened, so too did our embrace, her arms encircling my neck as I wrapped my arms so tightly around her, I could almost be hugging myself. 

Even if a knock were to come incessantly at the door to the Ocular, there was naught that could pull me away from this, away from her. Well... naught except the need for air, which we did eventually come up for. I rested my brow against hers as we gasped, and once my breath had returned to me, I touched my lips where my brow had rested, on the tip of her nose, each cheek, again at her mouth, “I love you, I love you, thank you, I _love you_” accompanying each kiss. 

She laughed as if each touch tickled her to tears and returned each of the kisses I gave, lingering longer than I had when her lips again met mine. “Yes,” she murmured once some little space was restored, “I do believe you’ve told me that once or twice.”

“I have not!” I laughed, but quickly hushed in case memory did not serve. “Wait, have I?”

She kissed the corner of my mouth much like she had preceding her initial return to the Source and I fair melted into her affectionate gaze. “Perhaps not in so many words, but you said it in your smile before the doors of the Tower closed between us, and behind a boulder in the dust, and atop the highest mountain in the remainder of the realm. Even in a basket of freshly handmade sandwiches left in my room at the Pendants. Sorry... the manager outed you,” she added when I gaped at her. I recovered as she laughed happily at the memory. 

“Ah, yes, how could I forget.” I smiled in the serenity of the moment, resting my cheek against the crown of her head as she curled into me. It reminded me of when my heart first became forever hers. “You have the right of it, as you are wont to.” She tightened her hold on me as she buried her nose in the crook of my neck and nuzzled into it.

“Would you like to test it?” she asked after a long moment there together, not moving an ilm, which I was glad for. I kissed the top of her head and let my lips come to rest there, content to breathe in the floral scent of her hair.

“Perhaps later,” I finally answered, and closed the space between us once more. 

########

Her visit this time was, to my dismay, rather more brief than I cared for. Nevertheless, we both were eager to test the mammet’s abilities. I was rather looking forward to at last recording her heroism as no one else could, even if ‘twas technically done from a distance. But first, our entire night prior to her planned departure was spent together, simply sharing in each other’s presence. In those moments, I could not help but imagine living out the rest of our lives in this manner. We spoke of things long past, of feelings we had neglected back when we first explored the Tower, of where we would go next, of what we would _do_ next, now that there were no hooded robes to separate us.

Other moments throughout that night were spent communicating rather _without_ words. I am unsure which of the two I enjoyed more, but suffice it to say I would not trade either experience for the other for want of both. I know this is selfish of me, but I daresay she would express the same. 

It was with the memory of her lips still tangible upon mine that I sent her off through the portal anon, along with her miniature Archon companion. I dared not speak through it as she traveled across the Rift, and only as she set foot back in the Syrcus Trench did I give the mammet its first true field test. 

“Are you all right?” I asked urgently as she knelt where she had emerged. The visibility through the mammet’s eyes functioned, at least. 

“Aye,” she breathed after a moment or so, turning to the mammet still on her knees. “That trip does take quite a bit out of me, I’m afraid.”

“I will make every attempt to find some way to ease your travels ere you return,” I vowed, my fist to my chest in solemnity. She could not see that, of course, but it meant more to me with the gesticulation than without. 

“More importantly, it’s working, yes? I can hear you and you can hear me, but can you see?” Her face appeared, somewhat anxious, in the mammet’s field of view. 

“It looks a bit as I imagine a fish or a bird would see, but see I can,” I assured her, relief clear in my voice. “I imagine Cid and his crew can address the issue of the somewhat distorted view later, especially given the fact I may now offer real-time feedback.”

My view traveled from the crystalline grounds to her eye level as she retrieved the mammet from the trench floor, casting her eyes about. “Cid’s supposed to be here somewhere, but if not, Biggs and Wedge can almost certainly assist me in making some adjustments...” I watched as she closely inspected the mammet from my view in the Ocular when a thought occurred to me. 

“My dearest, whilst you ruminate on that, might I also inquire as to whether there is a way with which to see through the minion’s eyes when I am away from the Ocular?” My responsibilities as leader of the Crystarium are many, and as much as I might like, staying in the Tower indefinitely is not an option. I wished to miss as little as possible, however, and told her as much. 

“Oh!” Her eyes widened after a tick, her ears twitching in epiphany. “A tomestone, like the one I have! They’re selling some in the markets there, do you remember?”

“Solely due to your amusing reaction when you noticed them,” I chuckled. 

“I could not _believe_...” She trailed off with a forceful shake of her head. “Anyway, I want you to get one, then take the smallest of shards from the edge of your scrying portal. Take both items to Katliss, and Cid and I will talk her through what she needs to do.”

“Am I not capable of whatever needs to be done with said items?” I asked with no small measure of playfulness in my tone. 

“My dearest Exarch, I have no doubt you have the ability, but you lack the proper tools, of which the Crystalline Mean has no shortage,” she said with a smile. Her face fell a moment later. 

“What is it?” I prompted.

“I... it’s nothing, love, never mind.” A lie. She is a terrible liar.

“I would know it if it causes you distress,” I pressed gently. “Mayhap I can help even from this distance.” I watched in expectant silence as she sighed heavily in resignation. 

“It’s just... this task will be supremely delicate, wherein even the smallest sensation may change the chances of success...” She trailed off once more and I caught her meaning without offense. 

“Ah,” I smiled gently, touching the surface of the portal above where her sweet face fretted on my behalf. “My right hand is no longer built for such things, you mean?”

Her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she hung her head in shame. “I’m sorry, G’raha,” she whispered. “If not for me, you would-“

“Still be sleeping and much less of a man for the lack of your companionship,” I interrupted. “‘Tis a choice I made in full knowledge of the benefits and the consequences. The crystal seems content to stay where it is on my person, besides. You’ve naught to fear on my behalf.” I smirked as the young man I once was often was wont to do. “I can also throw a mean right hook now as a result.”

Her tearful laughter ringing through my study stole my breath and my loneliness in one fell swoop. 

########

“My lord?”

“Exarch?”

“500 gil I know what he’s doing.”

“I’ll not be taking that bet, Katliss.”

“Exarch...”

“Perhaps it is a scholarly pursuit?”

“Moren, you only say that because you still feel you owe him unquestioning loyalty for all those tomes he bequeathed to your collection. You know _exactly_ what he’s doing.”

“My lord _Exarch!”_

This time the chatter I had scarce noticed was accompanied by a sharp rap to the table at which I sat. My eyes shot up from the small tomestone in my hand, where the image of my dearest warrior sleeping soundly displayed in dim light as both I and my small stand-in kept watch. She was in an apartment she had purchased in Kugane, one she had shown me several weeks earlier. It was cozy, and very her, and very much lacking in my presence.

“Oh leave ‘im be, Lyna, it’s been months since she went back. ‘E’s lonely, y’see?”

“Cassard, we have pressing matters to discuss here! Not to mention the fact that all of you certainly did not take time out of your busy schedules to come and witness the Exarch _pine_ for the Warrior of Darkness.”

My cheeks burned in shame; Lyna was quite right. “My utmost apologies, friends,” I offered with due contrition. “My focus is needed here and I have failed spectacularly in that regard this evening.”

“Oh, Exarch, it’s nice to see you so happy,” Katliss soothed. “You always had this sort of all-encompassing melancholy about you before the Warrior of Darkness brought you back to us.”

“Agreed,” Bragi chimed in his deep baritone. “You deserve a place to lay your head too, friend. You’ve certainly labored long and hard enough for that and more.”

“Pray pay us no mind,” Chessamile said with a chastising look to the other Crystarium leaders. “What kind of family would we be if we did not tease each other from time to time? We mean no harm, and we truly are elated to see you in such a state of joy.”

I cast a grateful smile across the group. “You all offer more leave than I yet deserve,” I said, placing the tomestone into a pouch I had taken to wearing round my neck tucked into my robes. “Nevertheless, my attentions are here with you now as my Warrior yet sleeps. Could, um... someone apprise me again of the matters at hand?”

Laughter rang out round the table in earnest and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t the least bit mystified as to why. The confusion was promptly cleared up courtesy of my erstwhile young ward. “Honestly, if it wasn’t you and it wasn’t the Warrior of Darkness, Exarch...” Lyna muttered in exasperation. 

“It’s improper to watch a woman sleep without her express permission, you know,” Yalana scolded, wagging her quill in the air. 

“But he does have her permission, does he not?” Moren insisted. “She gifted him with the ability to see _every_ moment the minion is at her side.” I tried very hard not to blush as a recent incident flashed through my mind quite unbidden, when she seemed not to remember this ability as she undressed for a bath. Judging by the snickering to my left, it seemed I was entirely unsuccessful. Blessedly, no further mention was made of this before I was able to change the subject. 

“The question of my propriety or impropriety aside,” I interjected, mayhap louder than necessary as the snickering grew more noticeable and included a snort or three, “let us continue this meeting after I was rude enough to interrupt with my distractions.”

“Oh, I am _so_ telling her about this when she returns,” I heard someone whisper to my right, and my cheeks burned anew. 

########

I was alone in the Ocular once more, discussing the day’s events with my Warrior. It had been a particularly harrowing day for the both of us, my attention pulled every which way in the Crystarium and in Eulmore and hers amongst the Lochs of Ala Mhigo, and the accompanying stresses were readily evident in her downward gaze. At that moment, she was resting somewhere in the Ala Mhigan Quarter, she informed me, awaiting a missive from General Raubahn and Lyse while bringing me up to speed on all I missed whilst carrying out various duties pertaining to my station here. 

“Tataru came through on the linkpearl earlier and informed me that things have been heating up on the Garlean front,” she sighed, sounding far wearier than she appeared if such a thing were possible. “Zenos has been revealed as the Ascian pretender he is, but Elidibus also saw fit to unveil Emet-Selch’s part in the founding of Garlean society. Now the lot of them think themselves demigods or some such, given they may be descended from the Ancients — or so Elidibus would have them believe.”

My brow furrowed at the concerning prospect. “If the Garleans think themselves more than the Common Man, even more than they already do, their lust for power will be nigh unstoppable.” This was nothing she did not already know, but for the sake of discourse, I voiced it anyhow.

“Aye,” She confirmed with a slow nod. “What’s more is that we’ve received word from Gaius-“

“Van Baelsar? The former Legatus?” I knew the name well prior to my self-imposed imprisonment on the Source, but I had not yet heard tell of a collaboration betwixt him and the Scions. 

“The very same,” she confirmed as she leaned her head back against the wall she propped herself upon. “It seems Lahabrea’s actions at the Praetorium rather rubbed him the wrong way and he took to hunting and killing Ascians in a fit of vengeance in the aftermath. We don’t hear from him often, but when we do, it is either of scant progress, or of dire news. I understand the Azure Dragoon, Estinien, is working alongside him behind enemy lines, much as I’m sure he would rather be doing almost anything else.” She spared a half-hearted chuckle at the image and fell silent once more.

“I see...” I said, more to fill the air than anything before she continued on. She did so in short order after visibly gathering herself. 

“And with that I digress, though it pains me to do so.” A pause fell, and I felt the hair at the base of my braid begin to rise. “Gaius and his shadowhunters found evidence that production yet continues apace on Black Rose.”

My heart dropped to the very depths of my stomach. “No... _no._ There must be some mistake. Our efforts here were meant to forestall that _very thing!”_ Guilt overtook me following my outburst, though I knew she took no offense. Such a display was better fitting my younger, impulse-driven self. Not the man I was now. 

“I’m afraid there is no mistake, dearest,” she murmured, eyes closed in anguish. “All that you and I suffered... ‘twas very possibly for naught. That said,” she continued before I could interject, “Gaius is confident he can find the remaining production facilities and destroy them. The Alliance, in the meantime, intends to heal the Precipient One, from which all poison for Black Rose originates. There is hope some sort of countermeasure may be synthesized by the Alchemists’ Guild as well, if we can right the pollution in time.”

“You speak of the Great Tree beyond the Wall, yes? Will that work? How much time before the Empire uses the gas? What other precautions have been taken?” I was full of questions. I pride myself on keeping my calm in times of great danger, but this was her in danger... the selfsame _mortal_ danger which motivated my plans over the last hundred-plus years. That which I had striven to prevent was still very much on the table, so to speak, and I could not help but despair. 

“We are doing everything we can,” she eventually answered, as if she were unsure of what else she could say. I sighed heavily, this new burden weighing on my heart as much as, if not more than, the original discovery of her premature passing. 

“I don’t suppose I could convince you to come back to the First and stay until the danger has passed?” I ventured, knowing full well it was in vain. 

She smiled ruefully, picked up the mammet, and kissed it, as had become her habit in the weeks since her return to the Source. “You know my duty lies here, my love.” 

“And it is that which frightens me most of all,” I all but whispered. “I only just found you again and thought you safe from death’s sting.”

“You haven’t lost me yet, G’raha,” she grinned, the way she does whenever she strives to pull someone from the deepest of sorrows. “I rather don’t fancy leaving any time soon.”

“Please, just promise me...” I began, grasping for the right words to say and the right way in which to say them. “If you find yourself in a situation from which you cannot escape by any other means, please do not fight me when I call you back to the First,” I pleaded. “Not only for my benefit, but for all the Shards. You and I both know that if anyone is to subdue the Ascian threat, it is you, and _only_ you.”

“Don’t sell yourself short,” she said, touching the tip of her nail to the nose of the mammet. “Your efforts saved the First and the Source as much as my own.” She smiled softly, bringing the mammet to rest against her brow. “I could not ask for a better partner, even amongst my dear Scion comrades.” I opened my mouth to respond in kind when her attention was pulled from the mammet. “I’m sorry, love, but duty calls.”

“Of course,” I said, nodding though she could not see as much. “I will be right here by your side until we see this through.” And so did she step off into the Quarter, not a trace of her worry or fatigue left on her features, closely attended by my eyes and ears on the Source while my heart yearned for her safety on the First. 

-Archon G’raha Tia  
_Student of Baldesion, Caretaker of the Crystal Tower, Exarch of the Crystarium_

_So ends this entry, dear readers. There is much to do, little time, and far more at stake than I could have imagined. Pray forgive me the time to find a solution to our current situation, at least inasmuch as returning the Scions to my love’s side. She will need them more than ever now, and I have yet to find a way to traverse the Rift. My hope is that, by the time I have the next entry for you, it will have been written as I sit by her side on the Source. Pray for us. _

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve mentioned my headcanon regarding the wind-up G’raha to a small handful of friends and HAD to get it out on paper. If I can’t bring the husband with me in person, then I’m finally going to put these goddamn iStones to good use tbh


End file.
